My Corn-Fed Cube Neighbor and His Conversation With Jesus
February 26, 2009
Corn-Fed Cube Neighbor: Hey Jesus, it’s really great to talk to you!
Jesus: No Problem! What’s up Corn Friend Cube Neighbor?
Corn-Fed Cube Neighbor: Oh nothing Jesus, I just wanted to tell you how much I appreciate everything that you did for me!
Jesus: Don’t even worry about it, it’s all in a days work.
Corn-Fed Cube Neighbor: No, seriously! I have been trying to think of a way that I could thank you!
Jesus: Honestly, it was my pleasure. Just try to live a fulfilling life and be good to those around you.
Corn-Fed Cube Neighbor: No, I’ve been thinking about this for a while, and I want to give up something really important for as long as possible to honor all that you have done for me. You know, you wondered the desert for 40 days avoiding the temptation of Satan and eventually went on to die on the cross for my sins. And honestly, Crucifixion, that must have sucked! I mean, I have to do something!
Jesus: Well, you are right, all of that really sucked. But there is no need to repay me, just be good to yourself and those around you, OK?
Corn-Fed Cube Neighbor: No…I know something that really relates to all that you have done for me. I’m going to give up cookies for 40 days!
Jesus: Cookies? Seriously, cookies?
Corn-Fed Cube Neighbor: Yeah Jesus, I REALLY love cookies!!!
Jesus: Fuck you.
Happy Lent.
Ah hahahaah….I am going to stop talking to you for forty days and that will make me holier, you terrible person.